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Hi! I'm back (and with a fancy new layout)~

Updates, updates, updates:

First of all, a Dad update: He has a moderate leak in his mitral valve. The doctors are going to monitor it, since they don't know if the surgery or the accident caused it. Apparently some people live with these kinds of leaks, some people heal on their own and others need surgery to fix it.

We also got some interesting news from the doctors on 26 July. I'm sure all of you, my faithful readers, remember the car wreck my dad got in a while ago. Well, we have found YET ANOTHER injury. He fractured his tibia. This is a tibia for those who didn't pay attention during science class. We need a consult from an orthopedic surgeon to see what we're going to do about it--while he's there, he'll also check out his sternum (yep, still broken!). On 10 Aug, he's going to see a cardiologist about his leaky heart valve. Hopefully nothing else will be wrong with him. Yeah, strike that. He has 3 herniated discs in his neck (C4-C6). An explanation about what, exactly, that means. Click "Cervical Herniated Disc" in the grey box for more specific information.

Now I have medical updates, too! I possibly have an auto-immune disorder.

Since not a lot of people know about autoimmune diseases I figured I should inform you guys about 'em. Here is a helpful link from the NIH explaining what an autoimmune disease is in simple terms. Don't trust those quacks at WebMD. I'm currently taking an anti-inflammatory drug to help my joints and a vitamin D₃ supplement. It's really only very slightly alleviating my symptoms (pain and stiffness) but I have to give it 3 weeks before I can try something else. I have to start working out in the new academic year so I don't lose function and range of motion in my joints. Joy. I get the one disease where I HAVE to go to the gym.

The good news is that I have an appointment with a rheumatologist on 6 September, so I ought to get a real diagnosis within a week or two of then.

My man came to visit from 22 July til 31 July. I love him so much, it was amazing to be with him again. We got him all registered at the community college here (he's taking one online class--"College Success" which is mandatory). Unfortunately, that class is costing him $562 out of pocket because of out-of-state tuition and because UPS is pretty stingy about its scholarship. Not to mention that he's having a hard time qualifying for financial aid.

He was filling out his FAFSA and found out that even though he will be 400mi away from his home, paying for himself and completely independent of his parents he still has to include their financial information. It's completely ridiculous. It isn't like he's going to be benefiting from their income and they make too much on paper for him to get any help from the government. It's so stupid. We're looking into Pell Grants and scholarships to help him out.

While he was here we took a trip to the coast for 2 days. It was so much fun :) We both got sunburns, though. Mine worse than his (I made sure he reapplied his sunscreen and kind of forgot about myself).

I miss him so much. I can't wait until he's down here. I know he'll be working and going to class, but a 2h drive and a work/school schedule is way more manageable than a $200+ plane ticket and 400mi.

In other news, my parents are trading in my Chevy and giving their '03 Honda Accord to me. My car is terrible on gas and my mother wants me to have an economical car so I don't have to worry as much at the pump. I'm really so blessed that things are all falling so neatly into place right now.

On 19 Aug I'm going to Caitee's wedding reception :) I'm so excited! I can't wait to see her again and meet her hubby. I wish I had been at the wedding, but the photos were so gorgeous. She made a beautiful bride.

Speaking of weddings, I've changed my vision for mine. Instead of a winter wedding--since snow is hard to come by and I don't want any of my bridal party catching a cold--I was thinking of getting married...

wait for it...

in an aquarium.

As in, renting an aquarium and getting married in the jellyfish room or something equally awesome and then having my reception either in another room of the aquarium or in a restaurant on the beach.

I have lots of time to plan and save up for it ;)

Let's see, what else?

Oh, I'm leaving for school on 20 August. I have a freshman for a roomie, but she seems like a total sweetheart so hopefully we'll get along. My uni finally approved of us having the option of a loft, but since I've had some car issues this summer I can no longer afford it. The only company we can rent from charges like $200/yr for a lofting kit. It's so ridiculous since there are a LOT of other reliable companies that are a hell of a lot more affordable.

I have a CLS orientation all day on 22 August and classes start 23 August. I'll also be blogging for my uni 4-5 times a month.

Phew! I think that's all. Expect more frequent updates in the upcoming weeks :)

Oh, and one more thing...

THIS BLOG IS NOW 20% COOLER.

Stay safe,
That⊗neChick

Moments that make me so, so angry

I hate my extended family. I do. I'm so angry at them so much that I want to cry right now. It's 10 in the morning. My stupid, inconsiderate grandparents are on their way over to see my father who just got home from the hospital last night. They had the audacity to call at 9am, when I had JUST gotten home, when mom and my sister weren't even home, to say they were coming over. How dare they. He shouldn't even be AWAKE, much less bombarded with visitors this early.

I hate them so much. They're so fucking inconsiderate to our family's problems. If they gave even one iota of a fuck about my father's health they would let him have some peace. He hasn't even been home for 12 hours yet.

I wish they had never moved here. They never think about my dad or even the rest of our family. They never help us out, they only add to the stress that we're going through.

--

Friend: Not to defend them or anything, but you do have to remember that he's your dad--but he's also their son. Perhaps they were just as worried about him as you were, and they just show it this way? Not saying it's appropriate by any stretch of the means to just show up like but there's two sides to every story, you know? Then again if they didn't visit him in the hospital but suddenly want to OMGBEOVERFOREVER all of the sudden when he's at home then that's another story entirely...

--

Me: I know, but the thing is when they visit they don't do anything to help. At least Brian (his bro) helped with the yard work and offers to help us out with anything else--even if we refuse he at least throws it out there. My grandparents come over and expect to be waited on. They don't offer to help, don't offer to get us dinner or help cook, don't offer to drive him to doctor appointments when mom is working and I have to miss class, don't offer to come over and keep dad company in the mornings when mom's at work and Jess + I are in class. They don't help at all.

When he was in the hospital my granddad would sit in a chair and pout because all of our attention was on Dad. He wouldn't talk to anyone and he'd bitch about how hungry he was and when they were going to leave, or he'd just fall asleep.

It isn't even just now--it's every time our family has had an emergency. When my mom had her hysterectomy (I was in high school at the time and had to stay late at clinics during my rotations) my grandparents came over and still expected her to cook dinner for them. When Nana had cancer (and then when she passed) all grandpa did was try to say how much worse he had it than Nana and try to take the sympathy away from Mom and put it onto him.

I know he's their son and all but they don't even try to help us out or help him out.

Sorry for the rant.

Moments spent beside my father's hospital bed

Sorry for the radio silence. Things have been busy.

Life's been crazy. Again.

Last Thursday, my dad sneezed. For a normal, healthy person this is not a bad thing (usually) but my father had been in a wreck and fractured his sternum so this sneeze was catastrophic. He felt his sternum "pop" but, being the man he is, shrugged it off and continued as normal as possible. Well, literally 7 days later he was still feeling awful and went in for a CT scan.

At 5:30pm he got a call at work from the radiologist and told him that he needed to go to the ED stat. He drove to the hospital on base where ED docs were waiting for him with a crash cart. For those who don't know, a crash cart is for when a patient goes into cardiac arrest. They immediately ambulanced him over to CFV Hospital where he was put into the ICU.

Why all the panic? He had fluid built up in his pericardium. That's the membrane sac around his heart and if fluid is in there then his heart can't beat... and well, if your heart can't beat then you die.

A day ago he had surgery to insert a tube into the pericardium to drain the fluid. During the surgery the doctors drained 1.5 liters of fluid from around his heart and since then 800 more milliliters have drained out. That was 2.3 liters of fluid around his heart. He could have gone into cardiac arrest at any second.

Luckily, he's doing better today. The draining has slowed down and they've switched him from a morphine drip to taking percocet by mouth. He had a fever the other night but they've since put him on antibiotics. I suppose the fever may be the result of having a huge incision and a tube in his chest, but I'm no professional.

The "pop" he felt when he sneezed was his fractured sternum breaking and overlapping in his chest but the docs won't mess with it until his heart is better. They're gonna wait about 3 weeks and see if they need to open him up, rebreak his sternum and stick a metal plate in there so it'll stay still and heal properly.

He should be coming home on Tuesday as long as there are no complications.

On an entirely different note, I've got a new superhero/masked vigilante obsession. Deadpool. He's basically hilarious and makes me want to buy MvC 3 just so I can play him. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kn3m8qlVk8w

Please, dear readers, stay safe. I don't want to have to see any more of my loved ones in the hospital.
-That⊗neChick

Jealous Moments

Who am I? I'm a part time nanny and philosophy tutor. I'm a student and car on-call for my father.



I'm not a bridesmaid, though. One of my best friends is getting married tomorrow... and I was supposed to be in the bridal party... but I can't go. I can't be a part of her special day. Instead of watching my friend get married to the love of her life, I'm going to be watching an 11 month old baby and helping her mother write a philosophy paper.

I can't go, but the one person who I would be happy to never see again can. She can be there for our mutual friend in a way I can't. They'll be having fun and making memories to last a lifetime... and I'll be nursing a headache and trying to keep a baby entertained from noon til 8 at night (if not later).

Yeah, I'm jealous...I'm big enough to admit it. But as long as the wedding is beautiful and she's happy I think I'll be okay. I want her to have her fairytale even if I can't be a part of it.

A moment to update you all and another moment to stop and think

Hello dear readers. Life's been pretty eventful--as always--but I feel like it's slowly winding down and returning to a sense of normalcy. Or at least as close to normal as possible.

I was off work this weekend because my boss had pink-eye (ew) and I'm not resuming work until she's better. I love getting paid, but not enough to risk my health. I felt a bit bad because I know she needs my help but oh well. I enjoyed sleeping in :lol: and Dad is much easier to take care of than a baby.

Speaking of my dad, he's doing better. Mom drove him to work this morning and I picked him up in the evening. He can do a desk job, even though I think he ought to work half days, but he can't drive yet. He's obviously still sore but he's been pushing through. He isn't the kind of person that can take it easy at home, he gets restless really easily.

My sister has a new boyfriend--Jon, which is hilarious--and John is going to be visiting me from 22 July til 31 July, which is exciting. We're hoping we can go to the coast and spend a few days there with my family. After that, in August, one of my best friends is having her wedding reception in my state so I'll be able to see her again and meet her man. So, a lot of really fun stuff is coming up.

For every good thing, there's a bad thing and my father's younger brother is getting a divorce. The short version is that they moved here from California and she has been depressed. It's the first time she's been away from her grown kids and her grandchildren (she's like 50) and I guess she just couldn't handle it. The thing is, though, that her children are adults, and they're completely disrespectful. She has a restraining order against her son, they've stolen thousands of dollars from her, she can't stand to be around her daughter for more than two weeks and yet she cries and whines all the time how much she misses them. So she's leaving her husband and new home here to go back to her dysfunctional family in a state she can't afford to live in anymore. I cannot understand her way of thinking.

Blah, family drama, on to theological discussion topics: I've got some questions for Christians that will hopefully lead to healthy debate about their theology.

First off, entry into heaven. The bible states that Jesus is the only gate with which to enter heaven (I'm paraphrasing here). So, my question is, what happens to those who don't even know of the existance of this man Jesus, or of Christianity? Say, people living in northern Asia or southern Africa, or even the native people of the Americas pre-1700s? Are they sent to hell eternally for not believe in a man they know nothing of? Or is there some other place for people in this situation? What about people who lived before Jesus was even born? Where did they go?

In a similar vein, what is a sinner? Let's take a look back to those who know nothing of Christianity, in my limited experience, sin is going against the known will of God. So, if one does not know the will of God (aboriginals in Americas, Australia, etc), could they be considered a sinner? If not, once again, where do these people go? Surely someone who is sinless does deserve to enter heaven, even if they don't know of the man Jesus or his father.

What about those who are aware of Christianity and it's tenents, but reject them? Even if they are some of the best people in the world (ex: Ghandi), if they reject the Christian God, is that enough of a sin that they are also cast into the fires of hell? How is this a fair and just God?

And finally, how is it that evolution cannot fit into the worldview of Christianity? It seems to me that an intelligent designer would design so that his creation would become greater over time. I know Genesis does say that all was created at once, and supposedly, since it is the Bible, it is the truth, as the Bible is the word of God, but remember, the infallible word was dictated to fallible humans, so it is not to say mistakes were not made. As well, God may have handed it to these writers in a manner which they could more easily understand. Saying "All life was made at once" is much easier than explaining the entire process of all animals descending from one or several early organisms through branching change, especially to early man. From a technical standpoint, all life WAS made at once if you see it from an evolutionary standpoint, it just changed from there. An early Jew (not Christians at that point) who was writing this would have assumed God meant all the diverse life was made at once.

Who's to say what kind of world existed outside the Garden of Eden? Is it not possible that the world was changing and species were evolving outside the Garden--as we have no sense of how time passed within it. It says in a passage of the Bible that a day to God is like a thousand years to us so we do not know if the world was created in 7 days to man or to God (and how long those 7 days were to God anyway).

Just some things I've been contemplating. I figured it'd be a nice change of pace from the usual "lessons".

Moments that change your whole life...

Hello dear readers, I'm sorry for my radio silence as of late. Life has been happening and things like social networking have been falling on the back burners.

Here's what's been up: I had a major fiasco with the bank last week. I went to deposit some money into my savings account and the teller said the account didn't exist. I was, obviously, confused and asked her to double check because a year ago I had put $270 into my savings account. She did and said there was no account and no $270. My father took off of work and came to the bank where we spoke to a manager about what happened to my account and, more importantly, my money. She and her own manager did some research and discovered that my account had been deactivated 2 months after my deposit for inactivity... and worse, that the deposit had never been registered.

I, in my ignorance, had shredded the original receipt of the deposit... so I had no way of tracking where my money had gone. I called the bank where I made the original deposit and they couldn't find it. They offered to turn it over to their research department but that would cost $25 an hour and I might end up owing more than I lost.

So, basically, I lost $270 due to a teller's mistake and my own stupidity. I learned my lesson, though. Always, always keep bank receipts. I made a new savings account and I'm slowly rebuilding my nest egg.

The worst thing, though... the worst thing is that on Sunday my father got in a wreck. He was exhausted from getting hardly any sleep, working, stress, and the heat of the day... and on his way home fell asleep at the wheel--for just a second, and a second is all it takes--and crashed into a concrete enforced telephone pole. His truck was totaled and he spent a night in the hospital with a concussion, bruised lungs, stitches in his lip and elbow, and other contusions.

He's recovering at home now. He's very sore and has a hard time moving around (he hurt his bad knee and his driving leg is messed up, too) and can't catch his breath because of the bruises to his lungs and diaphragm. Luckily he has no broken bones and no major internal trauma. *SEE EDIT.

God was with him that day. It could have been so much worse. I saw photos of the truck and honestly... honestly it looks like it could have killed him. The insurance agent thought he died when she came to claim the truck and saw the damage. He's so fortunate to be alive and relatively okay.

So... that's what's been taking up my time and my energy as of late. I work a lot (well, maybe not this week since I'm going to be helping mom out at home) so I never know when I'll be updating but never fear, dear readers, I'm still here.

EDIT:// 02 JUNE:

Pardon my language, but how in the FLYING FUCK does someone miss a GOD DAMN CRACKED STERNUM on a chest x-ray?! WHAT THE FUCK. The ED doctors missed it on Sunday. HOW DO THEY MISS IT? The x-ray technician took a follow-up x-ray today and basically said "Yeah, he has a cracked sternum, any idiot could see that" and then said "I've never seen this injury on a living person before."

Yeah. The doctors missed something that a professional x-ray person ONLY EVER SEES ON DEAD PEOPLE BECAUSE IT KILLED THEM. Ugh. They can't do anything about it, either, because of the risk to his already damaged lungs. Their solution is to just have Dad take it easy for 6-8 weeks and come in for regular follow-up x-rays.

I'm still baffled as to how they missed it.

My father is very, very lucky to be alive.

And now for a religious lesson taken from the author's comments of this deviation (http://nayzak.deviantart.com/art/I-love-Jesus-pbuh-211180882) because he says it best himself:

"Assalaamu alaikum[Peace be to you],

I saw one Photo of an Islamic T-shirt of Jesus -peace be upon him- and it gave me the idea to make this drawing. and explain a little (to non-Muslims and especially Christians) how we view Jesus -peace be upon him- in Islam

Position of Jesus -peace be upon him- in Islam:

*Jesus is called Isaa عيسى -peace be upon him- in Arabic.

*Islam is the only non-Christian faith, which makes it an article of faith to believe in Jesus -peace be upon him-. No Muslim is a Muslim if he does not believe in Jesus -peace be upon him-.

*Muslims believe that he was one of the mightiest Messengers of Allah (God).

*Muslims believe that he was born miraculously, without any male intervention, which many modern day Christians do not believe (not all christians. but many)...

*Muslims believe he was the Messiah (translated Christ). in Arabic Massih.

*Muslims believe that he gave life to the dead with God’s permission.

*Muslims believe that he healed those born blind, and the lepers with God’s permission.

*One may wonder to know that Jesus -peace be upon him- is mentioned 25 times by name in the holy Qur’an while Prophet Mohammed -peace be upon him- is mentioned only 5 times.

*Even The Qur’an has a whole Chapter named ‘Maryam’ (Mary) in respect of The Mother of Jesus -peace be upon them both-. No other chapter in Qur’an has been named on a woman (even prophet Mohammed's mother, wives or daughters!). This respect given to Mary is not even found in the Christian Bible (no book in the Bible is named after Mary). Mary, the mother of Jesus, is mentioned more in the Qur'an than in the entire New Testament.

*the Qur'an tells us that Mary, the mother of Jesus -peace be upon them both- is the greatest woman who ever lived. she is chosen above the women of all nations.

*Muslims believe in the second coming of Jesus -peace be upon him- and that he will fill the world with justice and goodness.


I hope that was beneficial,

I love Jesus (peace be upon him)

Wassalaamu alaikum"

Stay safe,
That⊗neChick

Sad Moments

Sorry I haven't updated at all lately. Life's been... well... not so good. Here's what's up:

Background info: my mother's mother (my Nana) died one year ago yesterday. Now, my mother's father is in the hospital. He has 10% heart function, congestive heart failure + hypertension, his carotid arteries are 80-90% blocked, has COPD + emphysema and now he has pneumonia. He's on antibiotics but he can't breathe without 100% oxygen and still had a hard time breathing even with the O2 on. Basically he's an arrhythmia away from passing on. The next heart attack, no matter how minor, will kill him. He has a DNR order on his chart, too. At this point it's not a matter of if he will pass, its when.

We are also on the opposite coast. He's in California. We are 3000+ miles away. We can't be there for him. The family who is out there is my clinically depressed aunt and my two uncles. One of which doesn't show emotion and the other is a drug addict. We always suspected he was, but we only recently found evidence of his... habits. My mother isn't jumping to conclusions (it's her brother, after all) and says it might be his girlfriend's paraphernalia but he's guilty until proven innocent in my book. Needless to say, my granddad doesn't have a very stable support system out there.

My father's father is having his own issues. His cancer--multiple myeloma--is back and he isn't yet a candidate for another bone marrow replacement. He lives just 15ish minutes away, though, so it's not the same as my mother's father who is beyond our reach.

I'm trying to stay strong despite all of this. It's difficult when my rock--John--is 400 miles away. I'm trying to focus on the good things right now. My sister and I sent my mother's father flowers and he loved them. I talked to him on the phone (he sounds so awful) and he asked when me and John are getting married. He was actually disappointed when I said it won't be for a long while--we're both still students, after all.

I also have a job now. I'm a fill-in nanny for my dad's coworker. I'll be watching her 10 month old little girl when her regular nanny is unavailable. His coworker (who shall be henceforth called the Mommy) is a full-time student as well as active duty in the army. Her hubby is deployed and her regular nanny's hubby is getting deployed soon. I'm still looking for flexible--preferably evening--employment elsewhere (Petsmart, Target, Food Lion, etc) but it's slow going. I'm also starting my summer gym class on this Tuesday. It'll be 2x a week (Tues + Thurs) from 8-9am which is really nice because it won't be hot that early.

I've been suffering from lack of caffeine--much to my sister's delight--so I'm even more stressed than usual. Plus, at around 2pm I just suddenly shut down. I literally can't stay awake. I've got no idea how I'm going to fix that but I'm sure it'll stop once my body is used to being without a regular dose of my favorite stimulant (coffee!). Or that's what I'm hoping anyway.

So that's what's going on. I'll try to update when I can. I've been keeping myself occupied so I don't have to think about much so if I'm super late in replying please forgive me.

Stay safe,
-That⊗neChick