There are times when it`s late at night and I can`t sleep and I just hurt. It isn`t a gentle ache like poets would lead you to believe, but not a soul-wrenching tear like songwriters might say... it`s a constant pressure on my heart. It never gets any better, and sometimes I`m too busy to feel it, but at times like this it just feels so heavy.
There`s a loneliness that permeates the air and it sits on my bones and settles in my head. It makes me feel old, worn out, tired. Oh so tired, but I find it impossible to sleep. I`m restless but listless as I look at the screen with his beautiful face so deceptively close to me. It`s as if I could reach out and touch him... yet I can`t. It makes me want to cry... and sometimes I do. I miss him like hell.
I`m not one of those girls that can`t function without her man, but I won`t lie and say that having him so far away makes life any easier. I won`t say it doesn`t affect me.
It`s times like this when I reach back into my mind and remember the times that he was beside me, in my arms... when I was pressed against him in pure bliss. My body craves his touch, my heart yearns for his presence. My hands feel limp, useless, empty. Most of me feels that way, to be honest.
Honestly this is a little bit of why I play the ARG`s. It`s a kind of escapism. No room to be lonesome or heartbroken when I`m knee-deep in mysteries, codes, and scared witless.
Stay safe,
-That⊗neChick
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